I guess sometimes it’s nice to see a film that you know nothing about beforehand. I only knew that it was somehow related to martial arts and that it had Tim Allen in it as well as Chiwetel Ejiofor (Dirty Pretty Things, American Gangster, Children of Men). I was slightly intrigued to see how the movie would mold Tim Allen into a kung fu star, but was only disappointed later by his simple and extremely small role. I mean who doesn’t want to see Tim Allen fighting like a martial arts superstar? Don’t let that be your reason for seeing this though… you will be let down. I don’t think he throws so much as a karate chop through the duration of this film, and his total screen time adds up to little more than half the length of an episode of Home Improvement.

The ending was probably the most memorable moment of the film, though the whole thing had a nice vibe to it, though depressing. The last shot, and the silence that is forced on the viewer for the last few minutes of the film, really makes an impact. I was thinking about it for quite a while after the credits ended. When the final shot cut to black, it couldn’t have been better timing in my opinion.

So I think it’s worth seeing for the performances and somewhat unusual plot with slightly odd and somewhat sad characters working their way into a complex series of events, leading to the aforementioned well-constructed conclusion.

I just can’t believe what my eyes witnessed… I mean, even if you hate the story, which I personally don’t (not just because there wasn’t really anything wrong with it, but also because it’s from the cartoon I think and because it’s supposed to be a little lame on purpose), you still HAVE to love every single breathtaking “shot” throughout.

I mean, just looking through Google Images to find a poster for this movie made me stare in awe for a good 10 minutes at each individual picture that came up. There is not a bad color combination or shot composition in this whole freaking movie. The world is so dull! Why can’t we live in Speed Racer land?!

So please watch this, but don’t go in thinking “this will be a fantasticly well-developed plot with amazing acting and top-notch characters.” I mean, you’ll get some golden moments, particularly after a sweet ninja fight, and you’ll get plenty of smooth moves and anime style jumps through mid-air… but you won’t get actors who are taking this thing seriously… it’s camp and cheese and the prettiest freaking things that my eyes have ever taken in. See it in IMAX, then see it again in your local megaplex. You will want to individually thank each of the 50,000 people who worked on the animation and visual effects for this.

I can’t believe I’m writing a review of this movie… I ended up seeing this because it was my mom’s best friend’s birthday, so we took her out wherever she wanted to eat and to whatever movie she wanted to see… so there I was, watching this guy…

I mean, I honestly can’t think of anything good to say about it, but I guess I’m not giving it a 1 because it… I dunno. It wasn’t the worst thing I have ever seen. But don’t let that fool you! Don’t see this, please.

The story was obvious and exactly what you expect from the trailer down to the last shot. There is nothing new or interesting about this. I want to have a scene in one of my scripts where two people talk through a door, but I did not by any means think that that scene in this film was worthwhile. Every turn of events was in no way a surprise. Well, I will say that I expected there to be a set up that turned out not to be there, and I felt like that was maybe a tad weird for what they were trying to do.

Anyway, as if anyone will actually see this, as if I need to warn any of you… but there, you have been warned in case you had any sick curiousity about whether this film was anything more than what you expected from the idiotic trash that was the trailer.

I guess I just can’t really get into Altman films. It’s weird, I see the good in them, I really do, but I just didn’t have much of a connection with this one, and found myself more bored than anything. I do appreciate what it was trying to do, the style and format and the way everyone talks over each other, something that is practically a stereotype, but in a good way, of Altman’s films. The stories coming together… that’s nice, and I have a fondness for the characters on an individual basis, but as a whole, I just can’t imagine really seeing this again. There was a lot of singing, times when you were just watching TN style folk/country tunes for 5 minutes on end without much else in between. It’s also a very long film, which I suppose it needed to be to have enough time to devote to each individual character so when they start coming together, you will understand their interactions and placements. The ending was interesting though, not really obvious at all.

Anyway, I’m not going to recommend for or against this one because it’s a very personal taste I think. I will say that there is an Altman film that I’ve recently seen that was really wonderful and I’ll be posting a review of that one soon. In the meantime, see this? Don’t see this? Whatever.

Uh… so Iron Man rocked my world, guys, I gotta be honest. I know Iron Man is currently rocking everybody’s world, but I just can’t help joining in. I mean, I was as skeptical as the next person during the second half of that trailer… when he started flying, I had serious doubts. But really, if you are considering NOT seeing this movie, you better hurry up and turn that thought around. I can’t imagine someone being disappointed with this delightful spectacle.

First off, RDJ knows his stuff. He was excellent, as usual, at making you feel sorry for him while simultaneously feeling like he’s kind of a jerk. I guess the opening few minutes start you off thinking, so how’s this guy going to change so I can like him later? And then that whole first half of the movie… so great.

I really am already planning to see this again soon. During the last fight sequence, my first thought was, “now here’s the Transformers action I wanted without all the crappiness that was ever-present in the Transformers film.” And I just want to say, the flying sequences were anything but lame. So I can safely say I was very wrong about the trailer (the second half of it at least). Please see this. Please?

This movie gets a 5/10 because it was completely mediocre in every way I can think of. The dialogue was 100% mediocre. I think I cracked a vague smile once or twice and a vague chuckle once or twice as well, but beyond that, the plot didn’t do a lot for me. I have to say, it was pretty different than what I expected, but I don’t know if that is a good or bad thing. Probably neither.

Jerry Seinfeld was fine, but he wasn’t living up to his Seinfeld standards. It just seemed too forced, like someone else wrote a movie for him based on who he actually is, like they watched every Seinfeld episode and spent a week at his house and said, I know you, and then wrote this for him. That’s how it seems anyway. So it’s odd to think that he had so much to do with this. The bee in the movie even wears clothes he would wear.

Oh well. I didn’t think this was going to be a masterpiece or anything, so I wasn’t really let down.

Has anyone in the history of cinema ever had this much naked screen time before? I don’t see how that would be possible. I mean, type in “Pillow Book” on Yahoo or Google images and you pretty much get 95% naked Ewan McGregor pictures.

I guess I should talk about the actual film? Probably so. I gotta say, I didn’t know what to make of it while I was watching it, or even for the next few hours or days after it was over. Honestly, the more I think about it, the more I like it. I could easily see this one moving up to an 8 in the future. I’ll have to watch it again at the next EMM (that’s my new shorthand for Ewan McGregor Marathon because I keep having to type out Ewan McGregor Marathon, and this is such a wonderful example right here of typing more for an abbreviation than you would have if you had just typed out the full thing… because you have to explain the abbreviation because most people, the layperson if you will, probably won’t get the abbreviation without said explanation).

Take a breath… and on we go…

The cinematography was ridiculously unusual, as was the editing. It was unusual to the point of being hard to watch in parts, but the story kept it moving and kept me interested, because if there’s one thing I can say for this movie, the story was anything but ordinary. I have never seen anything like this in pacing, style, or plot. It was new and unique and kind of amazing in a way.

The only downside is also the main positive side of the film. Because it’s so different, it almost doesn’t feel like a real movie, which is a hindrance only in the getting used to it. I think now that I know what to expect, I could enjoy the film more for its individual style and original concepts. The acting was as fantastic as I could have hoped, and the visuals were odd, vaguely disturbing at times, and generally fascinating, as was the whole story and ending especially. EM, what a fantastic performance, really. I thought he was great, but so was the main girl. And really everyone else in the film.

So check it out, but like I said, it’s incredibly unusual and odd, so don’t expect an easy to watch film with a bunch of naked EM running around. Well, at least don’t expect the first half of that sentence…

Following my trend of EM reviews, I’ll continue with this little guy. It wasn’t terrible, I can say that with confidence. There just wasn’t much to it. Some of the bits here and there were entertaining enough, and I was never bored. I enjoyed it while it was on, but it had no lasting value for me. It had a couple of laughs though I suppose…

It has a bit of a sad story mixed in with the romance and the main story which follows miners/brass players as they deal with the town being basically torn down by the closing of the mine where they were all employed. EM brought me back to this one after several years. I saw it once before during one of my previous marathons, probably one of those mad high school ones where I just went into the video store and picked up everything that had his face on the cover.

In any event, this one won’t be on the lineup in the near future, but could very well make its way back into the rotation of every 4-5 years.

Part of the 2008 Ewan McGregor Marathon… regrettably. Don’t get me wrong. I’ll watch anything, I mean literally anything, that he’s in. If he does a crappy sitcom on British TV for 25 years, guess who’s hooking up the BBC (which means buying a cable subscription) and watching every episode faithfully… You know how it is…

But… I mean, come on. It was just so BORING. I couldn’t get into a thing about it. Watching him run around with an American accent was fine, but cut to some random people running and shooting and screaming… I just want Ewan back, and preferrably not in a crappy war movie. I guess some people liked this, it just didn’t have any appeal to me besides the aforementioned.

So, this is one film that is not going on the lineup for the 2009 Ewan McGregor Marathon. Wait, did I just say the 2009 Ewan McGregor Marathon? What I meant was the 2008B Ewan McGregor Marathon. No way am I giving it a whole 8 months. You gotta be joking…

Oh, I have to admit though, I kind of like the blurry poster. That’s a cool idea for a poster… just blur it all up. Like it.

Well, I didn’t hate it. The thing is, there were some cool bits, but I guess they were history so… (the part with the brother near the end, the point at which the film moved up in my mind from ‘blah’ to ‘oh interesting…’)

Natalie Portman was really good… Scarlett Johansson was alright as well. And I have to say, I was like, “the guy who played their brother was really good, and why do I recognize him?” Well, I just looked it up and his name is Jim Sturgess. Ring any bells? Across the Universe. Yeah… so I guess maybe he is actually really good and he just couldn’t show it through the bore fest of AtU. Then again, he’s also in that 21 movie that just came out… which I will in no way be seeing so… maybe he just has bad taste.

The last 15-20 minutes of the film were the best, even though I kind of expected what finally happened. Not knowing anything about history was probably a plus in this situation because it was like watching a movie someone made up rather than copied out of history. I have no idea how accurate this film is to history, nor do I care. It was fine. I won’t be buying it or seeing it again.

Some of the costumes were cool, the scenery was ‘meh’, pretty much what was expected, boring landscape shots, and the acting ranged from fine to really good. So all in all, a fine experience at the theatre, but I’m glad I didn’t rent it actually because the theatre experience as a whole played into my liking of this movie.